Thursday, August 4, 2011

Top 10 Things Female Gamers Hear on Xbox Live

As a female gamer, you hear a lot of different comments on Xbox Live from random players. It doesn’t take you long to realize that the majority of jerks on Live are not the most creative of people. You tend to hear the same comments over and over and often times verbatim. Each person thinks they are the first person ever to say that. Yes, you are that smart and original. And by smart and original I mean you are the one millionth dumb ass to say that to me.

To everybody that has said these things to females online in the past and to those of you that will be saying them in the future, please come up with some new material. I say this on behalf of all female gamers that frequent Xbox Live. These comments have been heard time and time again. You are not quite as witty as you think. But we all knew that already.

Top 10 Things Female Gamers Hear on Xbox Live

Are you a girl? You can’t be a girl. Everybody knows girls don’t play video games.*
I don’t expect that you would know much about girls as you obviously don’t interact with any. Ever.

Are you playing on your brother’s/boyfriend’s account?*
Well clearly it’s not my own. Everybody knows girls don’t play video games and thus don’t have their own accounts. I don’t even think Microsoft lets females purchase their own accounts actually. I think I read that in the fine print somewhere.

You must be a fat and ugly since you play video games.*
How did you know? But of course all males that play video games are ridiculously hot. Every last one of them. Including you.

Shouldn’t you be playing Barbie Horse Adventures?*
I’ve already beaten it over 10 times. I rock at that game! Just every once in a while I need a break from it.

Hey sweetheart/beautiful/baby doll. How you doing?*
So much better now that you are here, thanks.

Dude. Dude! Are you a girl? Will you be my friend? Dude, accept my friend request! Let’s hook up!*
Yes please! Because I really am that incredibly desperate for friends. And hook ups as well.

How old are you? Where do you live? Do you have a MySpace page?*
I will share all of that information with you as long as you promise to stalk me. Frequently.

Girls belong in the kitchen. Go make me a sandwich.*
I am in the kitchen making a sandwich. I just beat you playing with one hand.

Are you a boy? When are your balls gonna drop?*
They already did. And your mom tells me I have the manliest voice ever. Every night. At least twice.

You sound hot! I bet you’re hot. Are you hot?*

* ~~~===(O)===~~~ * 

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